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  Topic Review (Newest First)
06-22-2019 06:24 AM
Old Dog 59 When we look at our fish, we just don't look to see them swim. We look, and study them, and their movements, their eating habits, how they respond to us in general. We notice little things in their behavior. We notice any body changes, cuts in fins, color changes. We notice everything that is going on in their tank. We test the water and make sure the parameters are spot on. We do water changes to keep them safe and happy. We know when they are stressed, and why for the most part they are stressed.

We all know our fish first hand. The bond we have with them comes from this study and the love and care we give them. We blame our selves for any harm that befalls them, and we are right in doing so. In our minds we are the ones responsible, we are the ones they depended on to give them care. Some times there are situations that we can not control, and then we go through the what if's. There is no time to second guess our actions. We grieve for our loss. In a little while we move on. We get another charge to care for, and we tell our selves the mistake I made will not happen again.

There are all kind of situations we face daily, but we can only do so much about other people's actions. In Ben's case The person responsible for doing what he did was not in my control at the time. I do blame myself, for putting Ben in this situation, and trying to find a reason it happened so I can feel better is wrong on so many levels. It will never bring Ben back. I have my memories of him and I will never find another with all his same quirks and quality's. However This will not deter me from giving another the same quality and care.

As far as the person who caused Ben's death. All I can say is (YOU CAN'T FIX STUPID.)
06-22-2019 02:59 AM
grre I am very sorry for your loss :(. That is terrible, but back in university my friends would “jokingly” joke about pouring alcohol into my bettas tanks. Not funny at all.
I also lost two of my boys moving home from university (about a two hour car ride in rainy Canadian spring conditions + additional few hours as they had to wait in the car while I wrote my final exams + finished final destinations/stops and such) I thought they would b okay bc my two other bettas survived just fine but they never recovered and died a few weeks later. Heartbreaking for me-I too blame myself, even though it was just circumstantial I suppose. I wish with fish they could “tell” you better when they were unhappy/in pain like dogs or cats can, you step on a dogs tail by accident you KNOW but with fish, its just that much more complicated + responsibility :/
06-20-2019 08:28 AM
Old Dog 59 I know This is so senseless. However it is a symptom of the alcoholic. I'm not making excuses for this person, but I do understand why.

I'm a recovering alcoholic 42 years sober. I know what it is like, and what drives him to do the things he does. It's not an excuse just fact. We as humans have many vices and have the ability to control them If we so choose. 42 years ago I made a choice to quit, and change my life around. I know I had no excuse other than I couldn't control some of the things I did. With the right help, and understanding of those who have been there I was able to do just that. But first I had to make the decision.

Ok any way Thank you all for the posts. It does help and allows me to move on.
06-20-2019 05:56 AM
Thunderstar I’ve only just seen this. I’m so sorry for your loss. How anyone could do this is beyond me. SIP Ben
06-19-2019 09:36 AM
bettatanksalot I just got the chance to read this but I’m so sorry about Ben 😞 some people are just awful. Makes it hard for one to trust. It was already said but at least you know it was outside forces and you did your very best with him. I love the name Ben by the way, if I ever had a son he would have been named Ben!
06-12-2019 12:08 PM
Capers7 Old Dog, I like to think there is a special place in hell for people like that. I am so sorry for your loss.
06-11-2019 07:20 PM
annolyn I am so very sorry to hear that this happened. What a horrible person; scum of the earth POS. It's hard enough to lose one of these personable little guys, and moving is so incredibly stressful--I'm glad your son noticed what he did--this guy absolutely has some gnarly karma coming in his direction.

Glad you're getting settled and the other bettas are getting used to their new homes. in honor of Ben, may I suggest your next betta be named Spiderman?
06-07-2019 08:02 PM
Old Dog 59 Thanks All. It is better to know it was not my neglect (except I was responsible for him, It was my job to keep him safe. I failed, and I failed Ben). I know nothing will bring him back But so help me Ben That drunk SOB will pay a very healthy price for what he did. And he will know why. I'm sorry I'm just really Peeved. No one has the right to do something like this to any animal that can't even fight back.

I have to move on and I do have two other boys to care for now and I will protect them from any harm. Gunny has settled into his new clean home. He keeps saying what have I done to deserve this? All my plants are brand new My gravel is spotless. My tank sides are sooooo clean I can see the whole way across the room now.

Little Bee is also settling in quite well. He patrols his new digs finding spaces to hold up. He knows where his food is put in and comes to the spot and flairs when he's ready for food. (he's not a pig like some I have had. He has learned early about the current and the way the flow will take his food but comes back to him. he won't swim after it but will wait until it comes back around.

As soon as this move is over and Ginger and I are settled in I'm expecting a little boy from Ma Betta and will be getting a tank ready for him. I still have 8 new 5.5 gallon setups on hand and I know they won't be empty long.
06-07-2019 02:20 PM
bluesamphire I’m speechless.
And v v angry.

But also, in a v small way relieved, because you know that you have an explanation, and it wasn’t down to neglect on your part.

Have a hug.
06-07-2019 05:18 AM
Ratvan
Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Dog 59 View Post
Thank you all. I really don't know what happened or when. when I tested the water the parameters were all messed up. The only thing I did to that water was put in API water treatment to get rid of the heavy metals and chlorine. and waited about a half hour before Ben went in. After I found him on the bottom I tested the water and there were some really weird results. No ammonia or nitrites, no nitrates. But the PH was almost 9.6 The water temp was around 71 and dropping.

I talked to my son about this and he ask me if the I was watching the guy that was helping us with the move. He told me the back pack he carried with him had a gallon of Rum in it and he was drinking it pretty hard. (one of the reasons some of our things are messed up) Daniel ask if he could have put rum in the water? So with that thought in mind I took a small bottle of airplane rum from a friend today and put it in water that I treated with Tap water conditioner. Dammed if the results were not the exact same.

I confronted him about what I had found and left him know I would never recommend him for any job and I'm leaving a really bad report on his web site. Plus I found out it was his aunt that he worked for and she is the one that got his money. Ginger contacted her. I don't know what was said but within an hour she was at the door and gave the money back that she had charged and told me she was so very sorry that it happened. She was unaware of his problem and he will not work for her any more. She can't trust him to do work in any ones home after this.

Needless to say I'm more than upset. about what had happened to Ben. he never did anything to anyone except to bring pleasure and love to your heart.
That is one of the most horrific things i have read lately, i am so sorry that happened to you and your Ben
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