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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
It's never easy writing one of these but it's even worse when we only got such a short amount of time together.

April 8th, 2022

I remember walking into the store that day. It had been a long day, I was exhausted, I was done with people, and I was on the edge of losing my manners.

I don't recall exactly why I went into that store, but I do remember looking over the bettas. I never plan on when I get a betta, it usually just happens, but generally I do some thinking. With you though, you were a genuine whim. And one I have never failed to regret.

You hovered calmly in your little jar, with a sore on your gill, and a swollen face. At the time, I was still reeling from the loss of two of my boys, and dealing with a third with dropsy, who I later lost just a few days after bringing you home. It's often occupied my mind that those reasons were why I brought you home. I was feeling like I had failed my boys and I didn't know if I could help you but I knew I wanted to try.

So I proceeded to pick up your jar and carry you to the register. They took you back to put you in a bag and I remember hearing them discuss the wound on your face. Nothing was ever mentioned to me, but if it had been, I would've fought to take you home still no matter what they said.

The cashier brought you back, made a comment on your beauty, and the rest is history. You came home, I named you Cascade due to your colour, and treatment was started.

For a few months everything was great. You gained colour and weight, you healed, and we figured out how to work around your crooked mouth. That calmness ended up being a facade and you became a feisty little guy who loved attacking his food, jumping for fingers, and saying hello. Attention was always demanded and always given of course.

But last week. You got bloat and I was ill to the point of where simply crossing the room was difficult. I'll be entirely honest, I don't think you guys have ever had as many meals skipped as you did last week. I did manage one epsom bath before I got worse to which I then just turned to fasting. But when I started to get better, you got worse.
For the last couple of days, your belly continued to swell despite my best efforts with baths and fasting again. Finally, I awoke this morning to find that you had moved on.

I can't help but think that I ended up failing you too at the end. I should've forced myself up to give you those baths, but I didn't. And for that I apologize, as maybe that could've been what saved you.
I hope you can find the ability to forgive me for not doing more for you. I said I'd never trade you for the world but I can't help but feel as if I didn't hold myself to that.

The day we meet at the rainbow bridge, I hope we can put the past behind us and cross together. Until then, you won't be forgotten.
S.I.P Cascade, you'll be missed more than I can put into words little one.


Bird Plant Beak Pollinator Parrot
 

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Aww… poor little guy. SIP Cascade.

I’m so sorry for your loss. The “what if’s” are always so hard. There’s no way to know what might have helped and, sadly, there’s no way to change what happened. But I do know that he had several months of a good life with someone who cared and I would guess he would thank you for that time, no matter how brief.
 

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60 litres with 2 blue rams, my cat!
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I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't know what else to say. I feel terrible for you.
I know it's not easy, but please, try not to blame yourself. There's no reason to. And even if it was your fault ( which it isn't), blaming yourself would help with nothing. And I know Cascade would thank you for every single moment he spent with you. Very few Bettas are lucky enough to go to a good home. Cascade was one of them. Sending positive thoughts your way.
 

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Many Platies, 1 Glofish, Many Goldfish and RRM's, Many Shrimp and Snails, 5 Birds.
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I almost started sobbing reading this.

Things like these happen and it's no good blaming ourselves for it. Even though our little ones are gone, we still have their sweet memory to hold on to.

SIP, little one.
 

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7 Bettas, Innumerable Snails, 3 Mice, 1 Madagascar hisser, 3 Halloween hissers
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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Thank you all for the kind words.
I know I'm not directly at fault, I guess I just can't stop thinking about the what ifs. Though you're all right, it's not good to dwell on those.

Thank you guys again <3
 

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My girl died not even 45 minutes ago and I've never mourned any pet this badly. Once they find that special spot in your heart and then they leave they take that special little bit of you with them it feels like. The what ifs truly do come at you, it's not your fault and you shouldn't think that you should have pushed yourself. Even though he's gone now you always remember him and sometimes you're going to wish you could forget but then he wouldn't be as special as he is when he's remembered.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
My girl died not even 45 minutes ago and I've never mourned any pet this badly. Once they find that special spot in your heart and then they leave they take that special little bit of you with them it feels like. The what ifs truly do come at you, it's not your fault and you shouldn't think that you should have pushed yourself. Even though he's gone now you always remember him and sometimes you're going to wish you could forget but then he wouldn't be as special as he is when he's remembered.
I'm so sorry about your baby and thank you for your kind words. S.I.P to your little one
 
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