Just lost my baby (dog)

969 Views 18 Replies 10 Participants Last post by jag14, May 6, 2014

jag14

Discussion Starter · Apr 28, 2014

My little dog, Sandy, passed away this morning. Very sudden, she just collapsed. My husband picked her up, put her on the bed. She was gone minutes later. I know she was at least 14 years old.

This hurts so much. I'm stuck at work and not even trying to hide the tears. Sandy was my bed buddy, slept right by my side or under the covers at my feet. I can't stop seeing her bright eyes and seeing her always under my feet. I have another dog that is at least the same age. Neither one came to us as puppies. I know Sandy was getting ill-tempered to some degree. She would snap at the kitten for attacking her back legs.

I feel like at least she didn't die alone, she was with my husband. He did care about her, in his own way. She died quickly, I hope painlessly. I am glad in a way, if I had to lose her, she was at home, not on a cold vet's table, in a strange place. I want to believe the last thing she felt was Richard picking her up and putting her on a soft bed. I hope the last thing she heard was Richard talking to her. I wish she had been with me when it happened. I didn't get a chance to tell her I loved her. I usually call out to them as I leave for work and pet their heads. I didn't this time.

I believe there is a place for beloved pets. She will wait for me, her and the others I have lost over the years. Maybe she is playing with Angel and Demon, my 2 cats that went on before her. Or with my beagel/basset Baby that I lost several years ago. I should be glad she didn't suffer, but it still doesn't dull the pain of losing her.

I'll donate her cage to the vet, someone else will need it, I'm sure. I'll take out her blankets, her toys. But I can't take out the place on my bed wher she slept so many nights. Just this morning at 5 am, I was talking to her, telling her it was time to get up. She will always be in my heart, and I hope that she is happy and healthy now. No more sore back legs, able to walk better. I hope she knows how much I love her, and that burying her today will just about kill me too. I know it is just her body, but that doesn't make it any easier to do this.

I know this is running on long, but I hurt so much right now, and I can't talk about this with my co-workers. They think I am being over emotional, by crying like this over a dog. "just a dog" to them. One of my animal children to me. I know someone on here will understand in some way how I feel.

I guess I should go back, finish my work, and go home to bury my girl.
I just can't seem to want to face this. I'm not sure if I have the strength emotionally to do what needs to be done, or to tell her I love her for the last time.

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1 - 19 of 19 Posts

Romad

· #2 · Apr 28, 2014

Oh gosh that is so heartbreaking

I'm so sorry you lost your girl. It will be a while before you are able to smile but you will.

For what it's worth, hugs from a stranger ((()))

Take care.

Tish

· #3 · Apr 28, 2014

I'am so sorry for your loss. Your dog is not a pet it becomes family so don't worry about crying it's normal when your heart breaks. My thoughts and prayers are with you at this time.

jag14

Discussion Starter · #4 · Apr 28, 2014

I'm done with my work now, just have to go home and do what I have to do. I can still see her as she was this morning, curled up beside me.

Thank you for your kindness. My co-workers here are not exactly pet people. They just don't understand. No one here seems to realize why I am so upset. I know it will get better, just doesn't seem that way right now.

Romad

· #5 · Apr 28, 2014

jag14 said:
I'm done with my work now, just have to go home and do what I have to do. I can still see her as she was this morning, curled up beside me.

Thank you for your kindness. My co-workers here are not exactly pet people. They just don't understand. No one here seems to realize why I am so upset. I know it will get better, just doesn't seem that way right now.

How can they not understand?? Grrrrrrrrrr!!! :redmad:

sandybottom

· #6 · Apr 28, 2014

i am so sorry for all of the pain that you have right now.there is no doubt that she loved you,and she knew that you loved her.our pets give us a pure, loyal and unlimitless kind of love.they forgive us of our shortcomings.they never hold anything against us.their love is a truly a force.

there are many people out there, that know exactly how you feel.do not think of your coworkers as cruel or heartless.feel compassion for them.they never let themselves feel deeply for an animal. they will not know this kind of love and friendship.they are missing out.

prayers for you and your broken heart,for the soul of your most loyal friend.

shellieca

· #7 · Apr 28, 2014

I can so relate . . . hugs to you.

Aquatail

· #8 · Apr 29, 2014

I'm so sorry. Rest in peace, Sandy.

I hope you don't feel bad about not calling out that day. No matter what, I'm positive that she knew you loved her so much. Forgetting or not doing something one day wouldn't change that at all.

I'm sorry your coworkers don't understand, but for whatever it's worth, we're here for you.

jag14

Discussion Starter · #9 · Apr 29, 2014

My husband told me that he thinks she was gone when he picked her up. Must have been a heart attack or stroke to take her so quickly. At least I know she didn't have much pain, if any. I hope she didn't feel anything before she collapsed. My other dog seems kind of lost. She keeps staying outside the hall to the bedroom. Maybe staying near where Sandy died? Even our kitten knew something was wrong. Shadow stayed on one of her high places most of the day. Didn't want to play or harass the older cat. I guess animals can sense so much more than we give them credit for.

I'll just get through today. I think the worst part is over, the burying her outside my window. I'll do what I need to do today and go love on my other dog and the cats when I get home.

Thanks for all the support and kind words from others on here. Only another pet lover understands how it feels to lose one.

Hope everyone has a good day, I'm going to try to make mine a little better than yesterday.

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beautiful Betta

· #10 · Apr 29, 2014

It is so hard when you lose a pet so unexpectedly. Not quite the same I know but recently my Guinea Pig hadn't been eating right, and I had decided the night before she needed to go to the vets, wasn't sure what was wrong. She was worse in the morning and couldn't balance right so actually made a emergency appointment. Got to the vets, they said there was bleeding in the eye, she had either broken the side of her face with impact for bleeding to occur in the eye, or brain tumour. I have no idea how she would have broken her face. The outcome for survival was not good, even she were to be treated, extensive research would be needed for cause, she would likely lose the eye, and was told she was very sick. So euthanasia was decided as the kindest thing, I had no idea she was that sick she did eat the night before. And it was a surreal feeling coming home to have to burry her.

All you can think is that you gave them a loving home, and they were happy while they were with you, and you did your best for them. And that is all you can do.

Take care, wishing good thoughts for you.

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jag14

Discussion Starter · #11 · Apr 29, 2014

Losing any pet, dog,cat, fish,guinea pig, hamster, whatever it may be, is hard. We can get so attached to an animal, its scary sometimes. I think if you love your pet enough, it knows.

I hate those vet trips, knowing that the creature you are taking, probably won't be coming back. I have done it with so many of mine and mom's pets. We even euthanized a pet turtle once, also my brother's snake, a few hamsters. No matter how big or small the creature, it still hurts.

I'll keep loving what I have left, give them the best of everything that I can. Just wish the other dog was one to cuddle. She isn't exactly a lap dog. But I do have a "velcro" cat, that climbs up onto me every chance she gets. And Shadow, the younger cat, is very loving and affectionate as well. I'll just consider myself fortunate to have had my little dog as long as I did. I do believe that she was happy with us.

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beautiful Betta

· #12 · Apr 30, 2014

I am sure she was happy, and knew she was well loved. She sounds like she was spoilt for sure. All pets have their own personalities that's what makes them so special. Just like people.

Morgyn

· #13 · Apr 30, 2014

jag14,
Sending you, Sandy and all your family strength and light during this difficult time. No matter how a pet, or any species of loved one for that matter, dies it is painful. With pets it seems more so I think because we're their caretakers. We cannot protect them from death and because of this it always always hurts deep. I'm not a gambler but am willing to bet she knew you loved her. Think of her and send your thanks for the time you had together, what she did for you and send her a b*tt load of love. Be very still and see what you feel in return.

You are strong for reaching out. As demonstrated there are many of us here who have felt the same and offer support. There's another site specifically for pet loss and bereavement if you're interested: http://aplb.org .

{Cyber hug},
Morgyn

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jag14

Discussion Starter · #14 · Apr 30, 2014

In the bedroom, where she slept with me, the other dog and cat won't get on the bed anymore. I talk to Sandy, because she is buried behind my window. I missed her so bad this morning, I just wanted to feel her by my side once more. Makes me sorry for the times, I would push her out of the way so that I could move. If I had the chance again, I'd never push her away again.

After my beagle died several years ago, I swear I could feel her licking my fingertips and pushing lightly against my hand. I felt that for the first day after I put her down. I believe that was her way of telling me that she was ok, that she forgave me for what I had to do.

My husband, up until we got our kitten Shadow, says he would sometimes feel something walking across the bed, across his feet and back. We think it was Demon, my tuxedo cat that had to be put down.

Today, I will be leaving on time. I'll go lay down in the room where Sandy was with me, and just lie still and think of her. Maybe I will feel or hear something that reminds me of her.

Animals can reach out to us, even after death sometimes. I dream of ones I have lost. I don't think I am crazy or that it is my imagination. I believe that they have a place to wait for us to rejoin them.

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jag14

Discussion Starter · #15 · Apr 30, 2014

Thank you Morgyn for the website. I think that it may help with the pain my husband and I are going through.

Thank you all for the strong support. It helps to be able to say how I feel and know that I am not alone in my feelings.

Morgyn

· #16 · Apr 30, 2014

HUGS jag14

PieTime

· #17 · Apr 30, 2014

I'm so sorry, it's a terrible thing to lose a pet. I understand how you feel, we had to put down one of my dogs this past November. Not a fun time.

bettacrazygirl86

· #18 · May 1, 2014

So sorry to hear about Sandy.

I totally know how you feel and my heart breaks for you. I too lost a beloved dog, when I was a kid. She was my best friend, and no other pet that I've ever had has been able to measure up.

I'm sure she knows you love her, and she'll be watching over you from wherever it is she is now.

jag14

Discussion Starter · #19 · May 6, 2014

My husband dreamed last night that we and our remaining dog visited the Rainbow Bridge and lay down with all our pets. I knew that there is a place for pets and now he does too. I feel like she is at peace now, her and the others that have gone on before her.

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