My little dog, Sandy, passed away this morning. Very sudden, she just collapsed. My husband picked her up, put her on the bed. She was gone minutes later. I know she was at least 14 years old.
This hurts so much. I'm stuck at work and not even trying to hide the tears. Sandy was my bed buddy, slept right by my side or under the covers at my feet. I can't stop seeing her bright eyes and seeing her always under my feet. I have another dog that is at least the same age. Neither one came to us as puppies. I know Sandy was getting ill-tempered to some degree. She would snap at the kitten for attacking her back legs.
I feel like at least she didn't die alone, she was with my husband. He did care about her, in his own way. She died quickly, I hope painlessly. I am glad in a way, if I had to lose her, she was at home, not on a cold vet's table, in a strange place. I want to believe the last thing she felt was Richard picking her up and putting her on a soft bed. I hope the last thing she heard was Richard talking to her. I wish she had been with me when it happened. I didn't get a chance to tell her I loved her. I usually call out to them as I leave for work and pet their heads. I didn't this time.
I believe there is a place for beloved pets. She will wait for me, her and the others I have lost over the years. Maybe she is playing with Angel and Demon, my 2 cats that went on before her. Or with my beagel/basset Baby that I lost several years ago. I should be glad she didn't suffer, but it still doesn't dull the pain of losing her.
I'll donate her cage to the vet, someone else will need it, I'm sure. I'll take out her blankets, her toys. But I can't take out the place on my bed wher she slept so many nights. Just this morning at 5 am, I was talking to her, telling her it was time to get up. She will always be in my heart, and I hope that she is happy and healthy now. No more sore back legs, able to walk better. I hope she knows how much I love her, and that burying her today will just about kill me too. I know it is just her body, but that doesn't make it any easier to do this.
I know this is running on long, but I hurt so much right now, and I can't talk about this with my co-workers. They think I am being over emotional, by crying like this over a dog. "just a dog" to them. One of my animal children to me. I know someone on here will understand in some way how I feel.
I guess I should go back, finish my work, and go home to bury my girl.
I just can't seem to want to face this. I'm not sure if I have the strength emotionally to do what needs to be done, or to tell her I love her for the last time.