Aww sweety you don't have to justify your pet to her. If she wants to be a c-word that isn't your fault. Sounds like a really self involved girl to me. Tell her its frankly none of her business what you spend your money on and if she can't take the hint stay away from her a few days and see if she realizes how bitchy she's being.

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It sounds like if you want to stay friends with her this topic should just be off limits or feelings will continue to be hurt.

Have you shared with her how much he has helped you in your personal life? If you have and she still continued to put you down if it were me I would seriously re-visit the idea of why you're still friends with her.

Just my .02

I can't stand rats. Their tails and eyes give me the heebeegeebees. My friend has 2 of them. I would never insult her though and say spending time and money on them is useless etc. To each their own!

 

I'm sorry that you have to go through this. I think that Earnest is a very unique fish. If your friend continues to speak of your betta and your decisions this way, then perhaps it's time that you took a break from her and found some new friends who can treat you more respectfully.

 

One of my favorite quotes:

"If I valued your opinion I would have asked for it."

 

My parents think I have made my siblings and myself betta-crazed, but I don't care. I love fish-keeping!

 

thanks guys this is very useful advice and i now understand that i don't have to justify my love for fish keeping to anyone

 

IMO, none of us needs to justify anything to anyone unless we've done something hurtful; then, we apologize.

I used the "If I valued" line on my SIL when she criticized me for the umpteenth time for having dogs (plural). She never did it again.

 

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. If she was a true friend, she would accept you and your love for bettas, even though she may not like them. It's your money, not hers. If you think that it's worth it, then it is. Personally, I don't buy a lot of clothes, but would I tell my friend who loves shopping that she's wasting her money? No. If buying clothes makes makes her happy, then I say go for it. I have no right to tell her how to spend her money or if it's worth it or not. If your friend doesn't understand that and continues to be a *bleep*, then as the people above me has said, maybe you should consider whether or not she's someone who you want to be friends with.

 

+1

 

I agree with what everyone else has said. My parents are kind of the same way. They don't yell or lecture me, but they make it clear that they don't like me having my two Bettas.

The people close to us don't have to understand why we put so much money into a fish or two, but they should accept that it's our choice and we have our reasons. If its not hurting them then they should zip it and let it be.

If you haven't already I would try to calmly explain to your friend why you put so much money into Earnest. If she still doesn't back off use the "well I don't understand why you but so much clothes but you don't see me bitching about it" card. If she can't respect your choice then don't talk to her for a few days. It will either piss her off and cause more drama (in which case you have to seriously consider whether or not being friends with her is the best thing) or she will see just how upset you are and how important this issue is to you.

 

I showed her a picture of him and she went on screaming throughout my whole computer class about how ugly he was.

My parents are kind of the same way. They don't yell or lecture me, but they make it clear that they don't like me having my two Bettas.

These 2 comments and so many other similar comments made here almost daily show for a fact that WE ARE NOT THE CRAZY ONES!

Honestly, some parents and "friends" and relatives are just beyond ridiculous. :evil:

 

Jamnita, sorry that your friend has turned out to be less than compassionate. Even though this sounds odd, perhaps your friend wishes she was your hero instead of Ernest, who in her mind is "just" a fish. Has your friend cared for any pets herself? If not, then maybe gently explain to her that caring for and nurturing any animal is rewarding, emotionally fulfilling and eases stress. Animals and their caregivers form strong bonds and yes, this includes fish. Be patient with her and realize that she simply may not be able to comprehend the tenderness you feel for sweet Ernest. Debating with her will only create tension. Respect her limitations and keep on loving your fishie just the way you have been!

 

I find it confusing that when a person spends thousands of dollars on a dog it's okay. But spend a little on a bird or a fish and all of a sudden a person is irresponsible with money... :/ Wha-?

 

You have a point, though I understand why dogs and cats are ok to spend more money on, they live longer.

But, yeah, when it comes to maybe a few hundred dollars for a tank set up where you can put numerous $10 or less fish I don't see what the big deal is. You can have the tank and everything that goes with it for years, so it could be worth it, but only if you have something to put in there.

 

My mother thinks I'm overly obsessed with my bettas, she always says "all you talk about anymore are the fish!" Don't let it get you down, they're probably just jealous they don't have a betta.